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hiya peeps its been a long time since ive blogged.....haiZ school reopening and im still as lost as a kid in a shopping mall man...a few weeks ago went up to one of those chinese speaking villages in thailand's mountain...went there to teach the kids bout god and the first thing that touched me most was when a little kid came right up to me and grabbed my hand and for the rest of the day he followed me around the whole place......and at that moment......i felt as if my heart was on the verge of a seizure. this was the first time in my whole life that a kid whom i did not noe nor seen b4 came right up to clasp my hand in their own......man i was realli thankful that God gave me the chance to do his work up there...
aniwae as the week progressed i begin to feel realli attached to the place and one night as i was resting on a tree i begin to feel as if im already home........a place where i realli belong.....aplace that i can call homeeee and gawd....when it was time to go i realli cried buckets and i realized thereafter that i had not cried so much in my entire life b4......i realli was heart, soul and body broken.....it was just too pain.....almost all goodbyes are......
i began to miss the place as soon as the van was on its wae to chiang mai for our flight home and when i reached home everythng seemed so unnatural....the quietness.... the high rise buildings the wealth of a developing nation in my surroundings and someting clicked in place....this was just a transitionary stage in my life..... i dont feel that this was the place i have to be i must be at it is just a transtion from a phase to another and i realli have to thank god for bringing me thus far and i am not onli grateful but joyful that i finally a direction in life......an ambition which i can work on....
its been three weeks and yet i still cannot adjust....nothing seems normal at all and flashback of the time spent up there kept coming fast and furious....and worst still school is starting and i am so realli lost as to how i shld complete my hols hw and everything in singapore make me feel lost and alone.....i realli cannot bear the distance from that beloved village.....i realli hope that i can put it behind and concentrate on my coming o's and thereafter up the mountain i go again and hopefully there would not be ani obstacle in my wae if not...seriously speaking i will go mad.....serious.....veri serious......haiZ i must be boring u peeps with my lamentation....
haiZ so sorry lar i need somewhere to unload....gawd i still have theory next year together with my o's how bad can this get and i still have a A Maths qualifying test to pass.....argh....i realli dunno wat to do....im at a lost....a man who is blind......a fish without scales..... irealli feel like giving it all up.....and just fleeee to the comfort of the mountains.......the people.....damn...*bLuRrED......gosh since when was i so emotional???this is bad......haIZ have to go, still got 2 theory test to finish...argh....hope i have time to come here and mope agian...
aniwaex buai guys hope u peeps have enjoyed ur hols and have prepared for thenext year.....
cHeErIoSSS!!! -sObS sIlEnTly='(